Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

Dear [Insert Your Name Here]

with 8 comments

Oh, my bloody stars. It’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I had to reset my password just to write this. Like a cheating spouse, I sulked and skulked my slimy way in, wondering what the point was to all these gotdamn shenanigans. I guess it was to purge before I burn it to the ground.

I don’t really know why I blog. I know why I write, in private and off-line [I have to or I will die; my withered soul demands it; I must, I must, I must] but blogging has changed, and I (Robot) with it.

My focus has changed — well, truthfully, I’ve changed. I’m happier, and moving towards something more professionally meaningful. I’m hacking away at the dead weight of toxic ideas, human lard, unhealthy people, and a lifetime of negativity. I still vow to out-snark you and drop f-bombs on your mom — but I’m less Snotty McSnotterson, if you get what I mean. I haven’t shed that persona altogether — no, not a chance — but I need to make room for new ones. Maybe even ones that serve the whole me and not just my angry face.

So I’m in the middle of re-branding. I know you’re thinking, “Re-branding? Why do you sound like a corporate penis machine that’s violating me in the eye socket?” First off, that’s what people like me and the guy from those Saw movies think of as “fun.” Second, I need help incorporating everything that’s important to me in a way that works for everyone. Luckily, I’ve got an awesome brand strategist (and former boss-turned-friend) who I worked for at Navigating Cancer, and she gets what I’m wanting to do: basically me times a billion, doing what I do best.Β  You’ll just have to see how my definition of “best” will manifest itself.

What’s the theme? Everything awesome and nothing lame; a hamlet of that which I’m mental for mixed with guts, mirth, and sucrose in a rainbow plenisphere. What do I love about this new project? 1) It’s collaborative. 2) The possibilities are endless. 3) It comes with a new haircut and color.

While I was at Breitenbush in September, I asked Kali to transform my armor — the invisible cloak I use to deflect and hide myself in various ways (something we all do) — into a hug I give myself. Had I the power to turn back time, I might have rephrased my request to sound much, much cooler — but even Cher can’t turn back time, so I’m not really going to worry about it.

My new website is a big part of this cheesetastic hug I crave. In feeding you, the internet, I forget to feed myself. I don’t mean like my boyfriend, who literally forgets to eat while gaming (MADNESS) — I mean the internal wonky parts that make this brain car go… O Beating Heart,Β  O Thunkin’ Mind, O Languorous Yellow-Bellied Liver! Finally, a project that celebrates you, me, and The American Way! (Just kidding. It only serves me.)

One thing I’m looking forward to is collaborating with my younger brother; he’s a fantastic chef who works for Tom Douglas. I’m excited to introduce him to the softer side of this series of interconnected tubes.

I’ve still got posts to write on this blog, which will happen over the next month or so. In January, my goal is to point you in a new direction — towards my freshly-birthed website, which is going to be fun, DAMN IT — and let the potato chips fall where they may. Hopefully in my mouth.

To all 14 of you reading (Hello, family!), it’s been a weird, wild ride. Thanks for being witness to my ever-present growing pains; I know it was painful for you, too. Snotty McSnotterson isn’t dead — though she took her last bow on Twitter last night — but she deserves an early retirement. Anger is tiring.

Cheers, mates!



Written by sn0tteh

November 20, 2010 at 2:28 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

8 Responses

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  1. Heart you woman. Go go gadget rebrand!


    November 29, 2010 at 12:40 PM

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sara Kiesler, Marika Malaea. Marika Malaea said: The beginning of the end of Snotty McSnotterson: (blog post) […]

  3. You can rebrand whatever you like as long as I can still read what you write because I heart you!

    Michelle Auer

    November 29, 2010 at 1:17 PM

  4. I’m with Michelle! Onward and upward!


    November 29, 2010 at 1:54 PM

  5. Really looking forward to this!


    November 29, 2010 at 10:45 PM

  6. awesome. mazel tov on the reinvention. i wish you much happiness and the occasional good snark.


    November 30, 2010 at 1:34 PM

  7. I’m so f’n proud of you Bee! Sitting here crying… I love it and can’t wait to hug you (of course not as good as your “new direction”, but it’d make most bitches cream their jeans. Kinda like our little bro’s cookin.

    I needed to read this today. So glad I did.


    November 30, 2010 at 10:08 PM

  8. I was wondering what happened to Snotty on Twitter. Now I know! Good to read your stuff, whatever brand you have- you will be awesome.


    December 3, 2010 at 1:53 PM

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