Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

Dialogue for Dessert

with 7 comments

I took a dialogue class at Hugo House with Keri Healey, a wonderful writer and playwright, and here was my favorite writing prompt:

Character A wants to tell Character B that he/she is having an affair, but Character B already knows and wants to avoid the pain of being told.

Okay, I’ve lived through this scenario. 1) Character A is a whore. 2) Character B is a nancy. Just so we’re clear. Character A probably thought that cheating was the easy way out (been there!); Character B doesn’t want to start over because he wasn’t a good catch to begin with (done that!). Both of these people are assholes, though on very different levels. A is most likely an attention-loving nincompoop with a knack for flirting and fruity drinks – or worse, a narcissistic control freak who’s entitled to everything. B is probably a sensitive ponytail guy, or some kind of robot workaholic. Point being, she cheats for A Reason or A Fuck-ton of Reasons, and he’s too pansy-assed to deal. Go.

A: I’m having an affair.

B: An eclair?

A: I know you heard me.

B: Huh. Well I’m having an eclair.

A: This isn’t funny. You think everything is a joke.

B: And you think nothing is sacred. Exhibit A: you’re having an eclair. Do you know how many calories you’re consuming?

A: There are no eclairs.

B: So I need to go get some, is what you’re saying?

A: Can you take nothing seriously?

B: I take eclair-eating whores somewhat seriously.

A: What did you just say to me?

B: I said “Fred Astaire-heated floors.”

A: Oh my God, I hate you.

B: I’m sorry.

A: Why are you apologizing?

B: I must have done something; maybe I didn’t give you enough love or dessert.

A: I’m moving out.

B: What? But we’re having breakfast.

A: No, you’re having breakfast. I’m moving out.

B: Pick up some eclairs on your way home from work.

I generally like any dialogue that employs denial and deliciousness, all rolled into one.


Written by sn0tteh

November 12, 2009 at 12:52 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

7 Responses

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  1. I would do horrible things for an eclair right now.

    Badass Geek

    November 12, 2009 at 8:02 AM

  2. @Badass Geek I think it might do horrible things to you, too.


    November 12, 2009 at 9:07 AM

  3. When can I get tickets for this play?


    November 12, 2009 at 11:35 AM

  4. @pam You’ll be the first one on my guest list! 🙂


    November 12, 2009 at 11:59 AM

  5. @mkhblink That’s a good way to get radiant floor heating, I guess.


    November 16, 2009 at 11:41 AM

  6. I heart this play already.


    November 29, 2009 at 12:55 PM

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