Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

Naked Pillow Fights

with 2 comments

I went to a slumber party on Saturday night. Upon hearing the phrase slumber party, no less than ten people said “Take your camera!” in a half-joking tone that meant ‘But no seriously, if you take pictures I’m gonna need to see those.’ How slumber party became synonymous with lesbian lingerie pillow fight is anyone’s guess, but I’d put my money on an idiot penis that was surrounded by other idiot penises. That’s how a lot of the world’s worst ideas have come about, actually.

Esq: Is this going to be webcammed?
Me: No…
Esq: So not that you know of?

Champagne. Sexy pillow fights. Back rubs. Experimentation. Streaking. Feeding each other sweets. Talking about boys. Squealing with deliciousness. Truth or Dare. Dirty sex talk. A workshop on how to do the splits. Pole-dancing. Musical productions. Boobs, boobs, and then also boobs. These are just some of the activities men assume happen at a slumber party – and I can now confirm it. Are you weeping with curiosity? Because you should be.

Since one of us has more – let’s say media attention – I’m not going to mention any names. But out of all the dares that night, I definitely had it the easiest: I ate a small piece of cake covered in Worcester sauce, chicken bouillon, mayo – and licked the plate clean, because I’m a professional. Someone ran down Eastlake Ave in their undies, much to the delight of a dude-filled car and my aching-with-laughter-and-mayonnaise lungs; another talked so dirty I felt positively covered in the ejaculate of ten professional porn stars. I watched someone wrap herself around another – like this – and teach her what has to be the most suggestive Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu moves in the entire history of martial arts. I felt like an unprepared, amateur Peeping Tom; like I was getting away with something – hot chicks rolling around on the floor together! – but had missed the point completely – NO FUCKING CAMERA? what the stupid fuck?! I was taught some sexy pole moves and, at some point, we all changed into silly costumes and danced around. Glee was watched, cake inhaled, nails polished, drinks imbibed. There was a lot of fist-bumping, singing, and over-sharing, plus a blow job re-enactment that set the teeth in my vagina on edge. Yeah, I’m one of those.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had that kind of nonsensical fun, or laughed that hard. The slumber party is making a comeback! Thanks to the ladies who participated – I forgot how much I enjoyed being a girl. =)


Written by sn0tteh

October 5, 2009 at 5:58 PM

2 Responses

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  1. Nice


    October 5, 2009 at 7:53 PM

  2. @mafiamama Naked pillow fights are always nice.


    October 6, 2009 at 7:45 AM

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