Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

Should I Perish On Vacation

with 4 comments

best-of-the-best

So here’s the deal: we’re leaving tonight for Cincinnati, and if our plane goes down, there are enough blog posts here to last you a month. No, none of them are new, unless you’re new to this blog; in that case, read them all. What else do you have going on? These are also the posts that readers recommended as their personal favorites, so let’s just think of this as a rush job on a Best-Of page, which I will organize better when I get back. If I get back. (I’m not a very confident traveler.)

Let’s do this in categories:

WITH LOVE, THE JEWS

There’s a post about whiskey cake, your new best friend, and one about my favorite douchebag, Hitler. Don’t forget the rant on Whole Foods, which fits in this section how? Do Jewish people love Whole Foods? Must investigate.

HEAVENLY CREATURES

Well, there’s the first post I ever wrote on WordPress explaining what’s what, and letters sent to the Esq from Heaven (actual Heaven!), and also a post about this Heaven-sent man. For an atheist, I sure do write about Heaven a lot.

THE CENTRAL PERK

My longtime BFF, Lil Red is truly amazing (not her real name); my other BFF, Auticia Gonzales is crazy terrific, too (not her real name). This is probably what we’ll be like when we’re 45. Frightening. And here is what happens when my friends talk me into exercising. Even more frightening. Also: the one about my friend skull-fucking me with her food. Delightful.

THE DUBYA SEE

Remember the post about how much I hated Bumbershoot and their awful bathrooms? Oh God, oh GOD. How I came up with the band name ‘Defeated A-Hole’ and lived to tell the tale;I like that one because it’s the only post the Esq and I have collaborated on. There’s also my Twilight review, which has nothing to do with bathrooms and everything to do with being a piece of shit. Which is kind of bathroom-related.

KID-FLAVORED, MOTHER-APPROVED

Posts about Oren, the monster: How he’s a Trojan horse, what fonts he likes and how it drives me bonkers, and my fucked-up take on motherhood. There’s a post called Getting Pwned By Your Offspring, which is pretty self-explanatory. And a look at what I’m like as an 826 Seattle volunteer. It will not inspire confidence in you about me.

MISCELLANY

Doofus: Story of a Dreamer is the most popular blog post – it details my work with AmeriCorps and the dumbest person in the world. If you’d like to read ’25 Things I’ve Been Called, Called Others, Or Worse,’ click here immediately. There’s also my take on Facebook quizzes and half-angry letters that I’ll never send.

See also: The Jabberwocky Incident and the all-knowing narwhal. I also enjoy breakfasting with champions and failing geography.

New Kids on the Block!

See you on the flip side – but if not, please remember me in your memoirs, preferably at 110 pounds. Thanks.

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Written by sn0tteh

June 11, 2009 at 3:50 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

4 Responses

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  1. Ah, the jews – some of my best friends have spoken to jews. Helps if you’ve heard of Nick Griffin.

    Nice blog.

    Mr Farty

    June 16, 2009 at 2:40 PM

  2. Sounds more like you have perished now that you have returned home…..

    Miss you lady….

    Buttercup

    June 19, 2009 at 12:37 PM

  3. Buttercup is right… starting to wonder out here in this inter-thingy.

    matthew thompson

    June 25, 2009 at 5:20 PM

  4. Oh, there’s a pretty good reason – I’m writing about it today!

    sn0tteh

    June 26, 2009 at 9:59 AM


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