Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

The Business of Being Gay

with 13 comments

Tom Cruise attempts to embrace his wife like a hetero.

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes attempt to embrace like a heterosexual couple.

Dear Sn0tty,

Why haven’t you weighed in on the gayz yet? You never do politics anymore.



Dear Stinky,

You sound gay; the ‘z’ gave you away. So did the rest of the letter, which talked about gay stuff – like modern furniture and reality TV and Tom Cruise and my haircut. But if you aren’t gay – dude, that letter sure was. I think you should stop sending mixed-message emails to strangers who are sensitive to mind games.

Be that as it may, you are very observant. I haven’t weighed in with the gays – and by ‘the gays’ I assume you’re referring to the 52% of California that needs a socially-expansive mindfuck – because I basically agree with the decision. The California Supreme Court ruled not on whether the LGBT community deserves equal rights in all things marital, but whether the amendment lawfully passed by the people of California would be upheld or dismissed within their state laws. Had all nine justices been out-and-proud, parade-leading gays, they still might have reached the same conclusion:  within the laws of California, this amendment had to be upheld. Hey, it was obtained legally, if not morally or righteously – of course I’m talking about the religion racket. Some of these guys make Jesus look like a real douchebag, you know? Because according to the majority, Jesus is monitoring the holes in your body and exactly what goes into them, like a creepy Santa taking your sexual inventory. Whereas I thought Jesus had a day job and was too busy for this type of stupid exclusionary bullshit.

Of course I’m not happy about the decision, but I kind of expected it. I’m more appalled that any state should have a legal process in which my minority-hating neighbor can shape my life for the worse. I won’t need to hear the words ‘You can’t get married,’ because I’m living with a penis… unless that penis says ‘You can’t get married,’ in which case I’ll be all WHY DO YOU HAVE A TALKING PENIS, THAT’S A SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH.

I’ve heard a lot of this lately:  ‘They should have just voted against upholding the amendment because it’s the right thing to do.’ NO and NO. I don’t think their Supreme Court should have dismissed it based solely on not agreeing with it, or because it’s hideously unfair; it’s called the legal system, and it’s been abused enough. We don’t need vigilantes with an agenda on the bench – we need judges and justices who are thoughtful, even-tempered scholars. There are proper ways to go about getting justice, and sometimes, it just takes time – or better, smarter tactics. Also, because of California’s decision, other states have moved to protect the rights of the LGBT community, which is an awful side effect for that 52% and a great one for the country.

I don’t want my life decisions to be determined by assholes, but I guess America was basically built by assholes who had slaves and mistresses, owned wives that were property, eradicated the Natives, burned women at the stake, molested thousands of children in church, and jerry-rigged elections; giving equal rights to those who deserve it isn’t exactly our country’s forté, if you’ve ever read a history book. The Japanese internment camps? My grandmother remembers that; she was also born two years before a woman’s right to vote was completely legitimized by every state in our country.  My mother, who is 62, left her sorority because of the none-too-subtle racism she witnessed during Rush Week – and that was in the late 1960’s. That wasn’t so long ago.

I can remember when interracial relationships were taboo and, while that’s not exactly gay marriage or equal rights, it’s all about the acceptance of people’s personal choices.  No one should govern my personal life but me, so I extend the same courtesies to my fellow man, even the narrow-minded bigots who would work against that courtesy. But imbalances are everywhere. It just takes a while to find the middle ground, to rally support, to get around the assholes. This has happened before – with different minority groups and different issues – but in the end, I’m a woman who can vote. I can feel safe in my ‘interracial relationship.’ I can be a slave to carbohydrates, and dishes that won’t do themselves, but that’s about it. This, to me, is progress. Someday, we’ll look back on this and say, THE GOOD FIGHT WAS FOUGHT, AND AT ONE POINT, WE WON.

In my book, everyone is entitled to the same blissful feeling that my divorce brought me. I guess what I’m saying is:  hang in there, Stinky, and hang in there, gays. Nothing worth having was ever achieved easily.



PS: I don’t write about politics anymore because I’m better at complacency, and also, I didn’t like the hate mail. Plus, politics aren’t funny, much like this blog post.


Written by sn0tteh

June 5, 2009 at 11:07 AM

13 Responses

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  1. I agree, the California Supreme Court decision may have been a bummer, but the passing of Proposition 8 was the real problem.

    And that photo of TomKat hugging looks SO awkward!


    June 5, 2009 at 12:58 PM

  2. Hopefully blog posts like these will be a thing of the past in our lifetime. I’m fairly confident.


    June 5, 2009 at 1:15 PM

  3. blogs like this to me are a breath of fresh air. maybe some ignorant DB will read this and open his/her eyes. love it love and that is that. you go girl!


    June 5, 2009 at 5:19 PM

  4. when you say, “hopefully blog posts like these will be a thing of the past in our lifetime,” do you mean:

    a. because the apocalyptic fury brought upon us by the melted polar ice caps will have reduced huge heaps of landmasses into anarchic mélées of stone-age-type buffonery?

    b. because when the fatwas are all carried out and the new global caliphet brings about an apocalyptically stone-age-type religious buttoning-down that excises both free-thinkers and the gays from daily life?

    c. because the goddamned douchebags who continue to prohibit any movement from a stone-age-type repression into a meaningful community-type way of life finally pull their fatty acned heads out of their underused assholes and broker acceptance in an intelligent, respectful and humanistic civilization?

    d. or because soon all discussion will consist solely of tweets?


    June 5, 2009 at 10:07 PM

  5. I think, just because of you, I’m going to start featuring people’s comments. I like choices A, C, and D.


    June 6, 2009 at 9:01 AM

  6. I still don’t know how Prop 8 doesn’t violate Equal Protection. As such, and on this matter of law – I agree with the Court *until* there is a more compelling legal argument to shoot this belligerent shit down.


    June 6, 2009 at 10:15 AM

  7. 5th and 14th amendment, jah. I’m basically where you are, too. Can’t wait for the ‘Amendments can’t be changed ever’ amendment. That’ll be special.


    June 6, 2009 at 10:50 AM

  8. Thanks, mafiamama 😉


    June 6, 2009 at 10:50 AM

  9. I usually don’t write about politics or religion because people start to go all apeshit and tearing at their clothes. Also, every time I start a decent conversation with someone they bust in with “Have you been saved by Jesus yet?” End of conversation.
    I love to debate with people with different views but a lot of those people want to burn me at the stake because I don’t believe the Earth is only a few thousand years old. Or because I have a mole on my back and can swim.

    Yellow Trash

    June 7, 2009 at 10:57 AM

  10. Man oh man… I’d love the right to get a divorce. LOL


    June 8, 2009 at 3:26 PM

  11. LOL@She – it doesn’t feel much different than what you’ve done except there’s more paperwork. 🙂


    June 8, 2009 at 4:52 PM

  12. I have HAD IT. I refuse to comply with our government in ANY way until my loved ones and I are EQUAL. Taxes? Jury Duty? F-that. Not until I am treated with the SAME respect and given the SAME civil law access that others have.

    We need to STOP acting UN-equal. NOW.

    Here’s my personal message for the White House:


    June 9, 2009 at 12:01 PM

  13. @She – it wouldn’t be a right, per se, at least not an enumerated right … nonetheless, you do have certain privileges and responsibilities in such an event – but nobody gets to walk away without getting some shit on them.


    June 10, 2009 at 5:44 PM

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