Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

Pwny Sandwich

with 11 comments



Oren called me today – 1) to say Happy Birthday, and 2) to ask me homework questions.

Oren: Okay, ready?
Me: Shoot.
Oren: Okay – are you taller than a meter?
Me: A…?
Oren: Meter.
Me: Rings a bell.
Oren: Mom!
Me: [clickity-clackity]
Oren: Mom?
Me: [clickity-clackity] Hold on.
Oren: MOM.
Me: [clickity-clackity] I’m not Googling this.
Oren: Okay.
Me: But if I was, it wouldn’t be against the law, is all I’m saying.
Oren: I think you’re taller than a meter.
Me: Fucking metric system!
Oren: The what system?
Me: See? The school system has failed us BOTH.
Oren: So does it say if you’re taller or not?
Me: It says I need to repeat the fourth grade.
Oren: ‘Cause that’s gonna happen.

Filed Under: Are You Kidding Me?, Fuck The Metric System It’s Like Doing MATH, I’m Totally Smarter Than You, My Child Is Blossoming Into A Beautiful Sarcastic Flower, I’ve Just Been Officially Pwned & Shall Now Eat The Sandwich.


11 Responses

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  1. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Thats hilarious. I read it to my co-worker and we both laughed hysterically and then debated the properties of a meter… we ALL need to repeat 4th grade apparently.


    May 7, 2009 at 5:00 PM

  2. Sweet! We can re-do it together. My fat ass will never fit into that little kid chair, though. I’m fucked before I even start.


    May 7, 2009 at 5:04 PM

  3. happy birthday 🙂


    May 8, 2009 at 9:05 AM

  4. Thank you!


    May 8, 2009 at 10:00 AM

  5. Wuh? Were you pwned by Oren, the Google, the metric system or Jesus? I’m having a hard time following…


    May 8, 2009 at 1:47 PM

  6. Crap – Matt, I think I just deleted your comment. Answer to your question: PWNED BY ALL.


    May 8, 2009 at 1:54 PM

  7. Found it in the spam pile – weird.


    May 8, 2009 at 1:54 PM

  8. Just got back from Australia, everything was metric. I think it is just a sneaky way to justify making things smaller. Smaller drink cups, smaller food servings… Two weeks isn’t enough to learn metric but I did figure out temps under 20 celsius suck!

    matthew thompson

    May 9, 2009 at 8:30 PM

  9. Matt=pwned by spam filters… 😦


    May 9, 2009 at 9:44 PM

  10. height by metric is totally fucking pointless and I don’t know how I’m supposed to estimate shit. Like, at 6 foot, I’m about 183 centimeters tall, but how tall is someone who’s 163 centimeters? How can I describe the idiot who tried to break into my house who was about 5’8″?

    temperatures and weight however rock in metric IMHO.

    konichiwa, bitches.

    May 15, 2009 at 9:41 AM

  11. Yeah, I only tell people how much I weigh in the metric system. Obvs.


    May 15, 2009 at 12:54 PM

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