Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

The Sky Is Falling

with 16 comments

Above: the view from my biggest kitchen window.

The sky is falling, and I don’t mean snow: for the first time ever, I agree with Newt Gingrich.

Also, the sky is falling. Seattle, as always, blew its’ snowy wad too soon on the promise of ice and snow yesterday. The schools closed–CLOSED–in “anticipation” of this winter snow storm, and the wee ones stayed home with their grumbling parents to await their weathery doom. The snow did not disappoint, waiting until the last possible second to hit Seattle–this morning. After everyone took the day off yesterday. And now the cities of Redmond and Bellevue, our retarded half-siblings to the east, have issued official city statements of DON’T COME NEAR US, WE’RE TOTALLY FUCKED. The floating bridges are filled with jack-knifed semis and stalled Metro buses. People are stuck in their homes with nothing but their Tivos, the internet, their Ipods, and -gasp!- other people to entertain them. What will these poor people DO? The city of Seattle is officially a weather hostage.

The Midwest knows what real snow is, and the East Coast thinks we’re a joke; I tend to agree. Oh noes, look at the cold white candy, pouring straight from the sky! Is it precipitation, or maybe cyanide in disguise? Does it burn like acid rain? Will it turn my children into zombies? I guess we’ll have to find a bomb shelter and wait out the Snopocalypse together; if we run out of food, we can always eat little Tommy. I mean, there’s at least 2 inches of snow out there, people–ARE YOU READY TO MEET YOUR ICY DEATH? We are all a bunch of weenies.

It certainly is beautiful, though. And there’s nothing better than snuggling up with your sweetie under a pile of warm fuzzy blankets, watching the snow fall–although I can imagine a scenario where I’m snuggled up under a pile of laundered money, and that’s good, too. The first winter of us being an US, there was snow. My bed fit right underneath a huge picture window–so we bundled up, got in bed, and watched the snow for hours. There was a lot of talkin’, laughin’, smoochin’… it was really the best kind of snow day.

The Esq stayed home today, after getting up early and getting ready for work. We were debating whether he should go in, but the bus never came, so he finally gave up. I gave him an A for effort. So since the man is home, I must go make bacon (that is not a euphemism), and get ready for hot chocolate and snowman-making later; the folks at 5800 need a snowman to represent! And since all the peeps stayed home from work today, it’s going to be one giant play date, all day long. If you’re anywhere near me, come this way! We’re going to have a ton of fun. Snow!


Written by sn0tteh

December 18, 2008 at 5:08 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

16 Responses

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  1. hee hee – bacon as innuendo. love.

    madhouse 6

    December 18, 2008 at 6:40 PM

  2. I ended up going to work today. Mah. 😦


    December 18, 2008 at 6:41 PM

  3. madhouse: or is it Love as Bacon? Now we’re tripping on acid.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    December 18, 2008 at 6:47 PM

  4. Joanna, the bright side is: you have a job! And I hope you will continue to have one πŸ™‚ Make sure you play in the snow later!

    Snotty McSnotterson

    December 18, 2008 at 6:48 PM

  5. Will the snow man be all makin’ gang signs while he represents? He could be called “Sno-shizzle?”

    Or since the snowman will be all white and cold, will he be named “The Esq?”


    December 18, 2008 at 6:53 PM

  6. I have to agree with you on the Newt-ness, but I also have to agree with the comments below that Huff-Post-post, which are that while his comments on their own are commendable, they flatly contradict his past actions and coments.
    Same with McCain and his concession speech: stirring and admirable speech following months of disrespectful and insulting, belittling behavior on the campaign trail.
    At least some of the Red-Heads are making good-sense sound bites. We can only hope that some of their peeps will listen to them with even half the attention they give to the usual ranting.


    December 18, 2008 at 6:57 PM

  7. And by “tripping on acid” you mean…



    December 18, 2008 at 6:58 PM

  8. Or you can ElfYourself all day long. Did you get my video I made?? I was easily amuased with that last night.


    December 18, 2008 at 7:05 PM

  9. I don’t know how much snow Washington gets each year, if anything, but i have to be fair; If you don’t live in a climate that regularly sees an everage of two feet of snow per year, the majority population does not possess winter driving skills. Nor do your towns have a team of snow plow drivers on call. I venture to guess that very few Seattle-ites own their own snow blower.

    You’re not a bunch of weenies. Just inexperienced.

    One thing we do look forward to during these winter months are the Snowed-In-Snuggle-Days. Fo-fucking-sho.


    December 18, 2008 at 7:07 PM

  10. I wonder if little Tommy tastes like bacon.

    and **sniffle sniffle tear tear** no sweets to snuggle cause he’s in the midwest dealing with REAL snow.


    Sara Rose

    December 18, 2008 at 7:19 PM

  11. Yeah, I totally will. I plan on leaving at 3pm, a little early. It keeps on coming down too! Wee!


    December 18, 2008 at 9:05 PM

  12. Matt:

    1. “Sno-shizzle.” I was not amused, even though I begrudgingly laughed out loud.

    2. Also agree on HuffPost comments, but also optimistic enough to hope that ‘bi-partisanship’ isn’t totally ignored in the future. I’ve *always* hated Newt. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t talking sense (even if it’s just for the moment).

    3. By ‘acid trip’, I mean you’re a doobie. Brother, a Doobie Brother.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    December 18, 2008 at 9:36 PM

  13. Buttercup, I got the Elf thing, and LOLed for a long ass time. Hitler and I looked good dancing together!

    Snotty McSnotterson

    December 18, 2008 at 9:37 PM

  14. Nicole, we’re very inexperienced. But you have to know: there’s also a lot of weenies here.

    Because Seattle a bowl, it makes sense–there’s too many hills, and not enough snow plows. It’s not in the budget since we’re not a snow state. But I get sick of the same people–on the news, in the coffee shop, on Twitter–pretending like it doesn’t snow every year. EVERY YEAR it snows, usually around the same time (December or later, because WA is weird like that–we’ve had snow in April!), and EVERY YEAR, people are surprised by it. Like it’s the silent unknown killer, like it didn’t just happen 12 months ago.

    I’m just bein’ snarky. πŸ™‚ Imagine!

    Snotty McSnotterson

    December 18, 2008 at 9:54 PM

  15. Little Tommy is gone. I got hungry.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    December 18, 2008 at 9:55 PM

  16. Re: Seattle Snow

    Not only are we underprepared for when the snow happens, but as Americans, we hate to be inconvenienced. Hence all the whining. And of course the media LOVES any sort of “doom and gloom” story so they play up the whole “ARCTIC BLAST 2008” story as much as they can. (They’re also American, which means they really like being the center of attention. The fact that they are in the entertainment industry only amplifies this.)


    December 19, 2008 at 1:14 AM

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