Marika Malaea

faithful marauder + fake royal

And Justice For All

with 17 comments


Above: Homosexuals are possessed by these three demons: justice, equality, and Celine Dion.

Because of my anti-religion/pro-reality point of view, I get a lot of hate mail; ‘a lot’ can be defined as 2-10 unpublished comments per day that are immediately deleted, and around 2-10 emails per week that are put into a folder labeled ‘Bible-Humping Asshats’. The phrase hate mail should be taken with a silo of salt, though; most of it isn’t directed at me. It’s directed at ALL the Godless people of this nation who are the downfall of our society. Which usually means the gays.

Do you know what gay people have done? They’ve ruined marriage for eternity. We can no longer exclusively think that marriage is something special between a Christian man and a Christian woman, and it’s all thanks to the gays. It’s THE GAYS who have ruined our society, wanting the same rights as everyone else, hoping to be recognized as equals on the normally Judeo-Christian marriage stage; it’s THE GAYS who have lived like a second-rate group of people, hoping to legalize their gay emotions and consolidate their gay taxes, just like everybody else; and it’s THE GAYS who are giving ‘ traditional marriage’ a bad name–no no, it’s not the thousands of straight people getting divorced every year in the United States, but the gays. See how they’re tearing at the fabric of our righteously-moral society? See how they want more than they deserve? Watch them behave like actual humans!–how silly they want to be treated as such. Feast your eyes upon God’s abominations, because they. are. everywhere: within this country, outside of this country, and in your own backyard. It reminds me of another set of people who were unfairly treated in this country–quite recently, in fact. You know who you are, savages black people. And look what happened to them: now they’re running the country. Moral of the story: give gays the rights they deserve, or they’ll be your next President.

A giant, middle finger-waving shout-out goes to all the black people who voted FOR Proposition 8; thanks for becoming the new ‘Man’. The rest of its’ supporters were just your normal, run-of-the-mill religious zealots who live in fear of change–but I say change is coming whether they like it or not. I don’t care what your churches say and I could care less about what God wants for my perfectly nice gay neighbor, or even what He wants for the ones I can’t stand (the severe ones who live only for the gym and an orange tan, and the ones who believe in vagina dentata). God didn’t call you personally on the phone and preach, “Vote Yes on Proposition 8”; your priests and ministers did that, creating a separation of church and state clusterfuck. Oh, don’t you remember? Those two things used to be separate, and should always stay separate, even if you don’t like the thought of Billy and Bobby wearing white on their wedding day.

Although ‘God’ is an undefined, abstract idea in my mostly-atheistic world, I’d like to think He wouldn’t care if two dudes wanted to turn that ball-and-chain gag into an Official Ball-and-Chain gag. I had hoped it was God’s job to explain how ‘separate but equal’ actually means NOT VERY EQUAL AT ALL, but it’s my job now. If I had to wager a guess, I’m betting the H8-supporters might throw their giant, unread Bibles my way and say SEEEEEE, IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE. I’m sorry, what does it say? How many different translations of “love your neighbor” can there be? Because my Bible says it wasn’t written by God at all (not even sanctioned by Him), just a bunch of his overtly-male minions who were made conveniently richer and more powerful through their harrowing tales of fucked-up zombie folklore, and who kept the villagers in line with a religion based in fear. Kind of like the churches of today. Sound familiar? I’m talking to you, Kansas.

Not very long ago, people of different religions weren’t ‘allowed’ to date–and black people weren’t allowed to marry, because slaves didn’t have the right–and interracial relationships were considered taboo. We got over those things in time, at least in certain parts of this country; so why is this any different?

Religion, that’s why. That’s the only reason I can think of that a person of color–like the large percentage of African/Latino/Asian-Americans who voted to support Proposition 8–would blindly vote for something that turns them into the hater, instead of the hatee. I used to think that churches were there for the needy, the sick, and the truly downtrodden–and they generally are–but they’ve taken off their masks of spirituality to reveal their true faces: self-interested businesses with conservative agendas who do good for some people, and unnecessarily hurt those who aren’t molded into the same Christian stereotype. What kind of God is so petty that He separates Americans from Americans, and what type of person worships that kind of God? America has been homogenized for long enough, people–I’m tired of living in a Pringles can where everyone is the same. The best part about America is the part where we are free–so how can we advertise ‘freedom’ when only some of us qualify for it?

I don’t care if Sally and Susan get married, buy a Prius, purchase a high-performance Asian baby, and name the damn thing Sarah Palin, BECAUSE IT’S NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS. I’m not God (which is more of an unconfirmed rumor, really), and neither are the people/giant tax-free churches who supported Proposition 8, in the pulpit and in the polls. It’s insulting to say, “I certainly believe that gays have a right to health insurance and hospital visitation rights”, because everyone deserves the right to health insurance and to visit their loved ones. What you’re really saying is: they get rights, just not equal human rights; what you’re really doing is being willfully negligent of your fellow Americans; what you’re supporting is severe prejudice, which is encouraged by your barely-tolerant, highly-judgmental houses of worship. Yeah, religion sounds SWEET and INCLUSIVE. If you supported this legislation in any way, you have personally moved this country backwards, at a time when our future is most important. Who your doctor or barista is married to has nothing to do with you, me, or the American Way. That is why we’re marching this Saturday, and why I hope you will, too.

Comment of the Day: “As usual, Bryn has the smarter and more rational solution. The government needs to stop issuing marriage licenses altogether since “marriage” is more of a religious-based institution. Instead, EVERYONE should just get civil unions with the same rights and people who want to be “married” do that within the constraints of their faith/beliefs.” -Manthony

[RADWORDS]: GAYS, PROP 8, ZOMBIE JESUS, KANSAS, MORMONS.

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Written by sn0tteh

November 12, 2008 at 11:32 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

17 Responses

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  1. I have yet to be possessed by Celine Dion. Could be a generational thing? Although I’ve certainly dealt with hauntings from Tori Amos, Madonna, Britney Spears, and Janet Jackson.

    Luckily I’ve been saved and now am possessed mainly by Diana Krall.

    Oh, and sorry if I ruined marriage for anyone (my ex-wife perhaps?) by being gay. My bad.

    PS: “God is in the rain.”

    Manthony

    November 13, 2008 at 12:45 AM

  2. I’m going to say that you being gay ruined your marriage, and so therefore: GAYS RUINED MARRIAGE. 🙂

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 12:54 AM

  3. Shoot, I should have kept quiet on that one, huh?

    Time for the Wookiee defense. Who can I get to fill in for Johnnie Cochran?

    Manthony

    November 13, 2008 at 3:41 AM

  4. Urm, according to demographics, if Sally and Susan get married, they’re more likely to buy a Subaru. At least that’s what Martina Navratilova wants you to believe.

    matt

    November 13, 2008 at 3:58 AM

  5. It’s all about the PRIUS, Matt. If you were a lesbian, you’d know this.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 8:27 AM

  6. I am sorry that we as the gays have ruined the sanctity of marriage but those 30 second Vegas weddings between drunken straight people….those are AWESOME!

    Buttercup

    November 13, 2008 at 9:11 AM

  7. I would love to see the responses you receive on this, email or otherwise. Oh and save the cross that gets burned on your lawn for me, please.

    You don’t actually have to publish this comment, but I do want to see the responses.

    Kiki

    November 13, 2008 at 2:22 PM

  8. As usual, Bryn has the smarter and more rational solution. The government needs to stop issuing marriage licenses altogether since “marriage” is more of a religious-based institution. Instead, EVERYONE should just get civil unions with the same rights and people who want to be “married” do that within the constraints of their faith/beliefs.

    Manthony

    November 13, 2008 at 3:54 PM

  9. Buttercup: VEGAS, BABY! Manthony had one of those, you guys should talk.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 4:06 PM

  10. Kiki, don’t worry, I’ll post all of the comments. The comments that get deleted are usually of the “SARAH PALIN 2012!” and “YOU WILL BURN IN HELL” variety. Anything that makes me feel like complete shit, basically, or is totally pointless.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 4:08 PM

  11. Bryn is amazing. That is an awesome idea.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 4:09 PM

  12. Where do these people find you? Do they search blogs for things counter to their religious beliefs, and then spam posts about Sarah Palin?

    LilRed

    November 13, 2008 at 6:05 PM

  13. For the record, although the wedding was held at a Vegas drive-thru window, we were NOT drunk. (But I was 17, so I was probably operating under the same conditions as if I had been drunk.)

    Manthony

    November 13, 2008 at 6:46 PM

  14. Red, I think Jesus is giving out the link to my blog. I’m not kidding.

    I have no idea how they find me or why they keep coming back. But I’d say they make up at least 15% of my readers.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 7:04 PM

  15. Manthony: if you’re 17, you’re drunk with fake power.

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 13, 2008 at 7:12 PM

  16. Even though this tremendous and terrifically dead-on post already received a myriad of comments, i had to say; I forwarded this particular message to my family, my friends and my co-workers.

    I had to. It was like listening to a speech.

    Bravo!

    WenigGluckliches

    November 18, 2008 at 2:09 AM

  17. Thanks, Wen 😉 That means a lot!

    Snotty McSnotterson

    November 18, 2008 at 5:49 AM


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